Sunburnt.

On high-fives...

Listen, I don’t need you to recieve my high-five. I’m not giving you something. I want your high-five to ride out and meet me in battle.

And by no means should you ever say that it hurt.

If you could see the ladies who research for DIRTY JOBS you’d expect every episode to be about cats.

Hockey Debate

Jumping into this argument between Tim and Austin, I submit these two facts:

• The Anaheim Mighty Ducks victory celebration in 2007 attracted 15,000 people, less than the capacity of their stadium.
• The Detroit Red Wings victory parade in 2008 attracted 1.4 million people, more than the actual population of the city of Detroit ( city pop. 912,062).

I want Anaheim to be pumped about the Ducks.  It’s been over ten years, there is a pretty legit Detroit/Anaheim rivalry, and the duck call is one of the best crowd gimmicks in hockey.  Why is an Anaheim victory still the twelfth news story on “Big Boy in the Morning” behind a solid minute of horn sfx?  ”Bup Bup Bup Bwaaaaaaaa!  DJ E-man on yo turntable turnin’ labels!”

It is like 2004-2007 never happened, because the winning teams’ own markets responded to their champions with an “oh, that’s nice.  Kobe raped who???”  Or, “Hurricanes win the cup.  Up next, ACTUAL Hurricanes coming.”  When Detroit, or Pittsburgh, or a Canadian team win the cup, the murder rate literally drops.  There is pride you can feel, and it fills our fans up with so much arrogance that even in the OC it gets thrust in your face.  You have conversations with your friends about what dicks Red Wings fans are.  You remember you hate the Red Wings.  You remember the Red Wings.

When the Ducks won, no one blew a duck call in my face, mentioned it in my classes, or otherwise made me remember.  That’s why Tim and I feel like the NHL skipped a beat.  That’s where we’re coming from.  You may say, “What?  So just because we have respectful fans, we can’t be taken seriously?”  You don’t.  Your fans are assholes too, and I take them seriously.  But there’s only 15,000 of them.